I read a fantastic article by Rick Beneteau on giving and listening.  It reminded me of the role of mentoring in helping someone think properly through their life.  Life can be tough and it certainly isn’t always a bed of roses.  If life is tough for everyone, why do some people seem to ride the waves from peak to peak, but others are buried by the waves?  I believe it is not what happens to you in life, but how you think about what happens to you in life that matters most.  Do you see your current challenges, roadblocks, and setbacks as evidence of no opportunity or do you see the same situations as evidence that God has a BIG plan for you!  Think about it for a minute!  If God is calling you for a big assignment—wouldn’t it make sense that He would place some major challenges in your life to develop character first?  God must develop the person for the assignment given and challenges are a great way to develop the necessary character for advanced assignments.  Instead of fighting our fate, let’s be drawn to our destiny! 

When Laurie and I sit down to mentor couples, we tell them to share with us the good, the bad, and the ugly.  We are not listening so we can have a pity party with the couple.  We listen to celebrate the good, make adjustments for the bad and address the ugly immediately.  Every great leader has had good, bad and ugly things happen to them, but the key is how they are thinking through the situations.  How are you thinking through the good, the bad, and the ugly in your life?  Do you secretly enjoy the bad and the ugly things that are happening?  Many people surprisingly do!  The reason for this secret enjoyment is they feel it justifies their lack of results and causes others to feel sorry for them.  DO NOT EVER PLAY THE ROLE OF VICTIM!  It may feel good to have others feel sorry for you, but it is a drug that creates a harmful life addiction.  YOU are a champion and all champions will have to overcome the bad and the ugly in their life.  We are not training people to be victims, so take the bad things that happen to you as God’s way of developing character.  The greatest gift a mentor can give to you is the absolute belief that you have what it takes inside of you to overcome your present difficulties and win in the game of life.  Laurie and I believe strongly that all of us have what it takes and we have dedicated our life to teach others how to think through their difficulties to be champions in the game of life!  We must give to others, but the best thing to give to others is a champion’s way of thinking through life.  Anything else that we give to them is giving less than our personal best!  God Bless, Orrin Woodward

"Give 'til it hurts." You've probably heard this a thousand times. I know I have. A well-intentioned expression that I always found somewhat strange as "giving" and "hurt" are concepts that seem to be polar opposite.

I want to share with you a personal story where "giving" in fact "hurt" a person I was trying to help. In order to do that, I need to give you a little background about myself. Please indulge me.

For whatever reason the universe has, I have been blessed to have had many people seek my counsel during my fifty years of living. They trusted that I could help them in some way.

I've been told that I am a good listener. Coupled with an inherent desire to help others, even during my high school days, I seemed to become the counselor of choice for many of my peers.

I vividly recall private chats I had with my high school cohorts, normally conducted in my sooped-up '67 ‘Cuda, during lunch, spare periods or skipped-out classes. Problems about girlfriends, boyfriends, teachers and parents were the norm. Usually self- esteem issues were at the core, as is the case with most problems thirty years later.

And later, my twenty-and-thirty-something friends and family members, as well as many of the employees in my drycleaning business, could always count on complete confidence and my objectivity when discussing problems that they had in their personal lives.

As life moved along, I was faced with a myriad of not only challenges to overcome, but tragedies to deal with. The death of two of my siblings, my father and many close family members and friends, business losses, divorce and being the parent of a special needs child were among them. The lessons learned and the strength gained from these life experiences ultimately led to what I have chosen to do with my life today.

But being pretty well-schooled in life does not always mean that one has the right answers though.

He has been in my life a long time. I was mostly always on the listening end. Conversation after conversation he would laundry-list his assorted problems. And, as many "victims of life" have it, they were never in short supply. I would allow him to "share" his stories of suffering, time after time, consuming much of mine. Like the traditional psychologist, I would just listen, as I felt listening was a large part of "my role" in trying to help him.

Thing was, no matter what suggestions I would offer to try to help him, the problems not only remained, but amplified over time. He never acted on my advice and I eventually began to feel rather impotent and confused about how I could make a difference in his life.

Suddenly, in a conversation last year, at a point where I became very irritated at listening to his negativity, it struck me. This person was receiving so much more benefit from knowing I was listening to him spew about his miserable life than he ever would from finding solutions and improving it. It finally dawned on me that he LOVED having problems!

I hadn't helped him. Not one bit. In fact, for years, I was simply feeding this need in him. I was helping him to have a great time at his own pity party. All this time my giving was, in fact, hurting him!

He was shocked when I interrupted him mid-sentence and blurted out that I didn't want to listen to any more about his problems. There was an awkward silence but when he finally asked me "why" I quickly reassured him that I was still interested in helping him. But it was not going to be on his terms anymore. The new deal would have to be that from this conversation forward, we would not discuss the past. Only the present and future. We would address current issues by working on solutions. He would need to act on my suggestions. Things such as reading certain books or listening to certain tapes and making small adjustments in his thinking that would produce positive results. Our future conversations would consist only of discussing the changes he would sincerely attempt to make to improve his life. He seemed somewhat stunned, and reluctantly agreed.

Those next few times we talked though he tried very hard to steer the conversation down his familiar road attempting to inform me of the latest, greatest grief in his life. But I didn't allow that, sticking to the agreed-upon plan and changing direction to our new proactive approach.

You know what? It really didn't take too long before the tone of our conversations became more positive in nature and soon he was beginning to "get" some important concepts about how his mind, and the universe, really worked. He started reading and listening to materials I suggested. He was beginning to learn that his current results were the product of his current thinking and that he was never a victim of life – not for one minute! That growth has continued.

Now we have great talks, often upbeat, and any real problem he has is briefly outlined and then discussed in such a way that a solution can be found and acted upon. In fact, I've become comfortable sharing some of my problems with him! More than once he's reminded me to take some of my own medicine!

It's both magical and comforting to me at the same time to know that when the simple truths of how things work in this world are realized, things can really begin to change for the better and in a big way. It's unfortunate that it took so long for me to realize how I could better serve my friend, but then, the universe has it's own timing for things like this.

It is my hope that if you have been trying to help someone like my friend and find yourself doing a lot of "listening", that just maybe, your giving is hurting.

I read an informative article this morning from Paul B. Thornton on the 7 Secrets of Leadership Success.  All the points are on the mark and every leader will improve by applying these principles to their life.  Leadership in one sense is simple, but in another sense is extremely hard.  What is the reason for this?  I have a one word answer: discipline.  Learning the principles are not enough—true results will only occur when the principles are applied consistently and this requires self-discipline!  Enjoy the article. God Bless, Orrin Woodward

Fortune magazine once published an article entitled “The Best Advice I Ever Got.” It was a great article that offered wit and wisdom about achieving business success. I liked it so much, that it motivated me to produce my newest book, Leadership: Best Advice I Ever Got, which describes the best leadership advice 136 successful CEOs, coaches, consultants, professors, managers, executives, presidents, politicians, and religious leaders received that most helped them become effective and successful leaders.

Here are seven secrets to leadership success:

1. Leadership is about making things happen.

If you want to make something happen with your life – in school, in your profession or in your community, do it. Perceived obstacles crumble against persistent desire. John Baldoni, Author, Leadership Communication Consultant and Founder of Baldoni Consulting LLC, shared this advice that had come from his father, a physician. He taught him the value of persistence. At the same time, his mother taught him compassion for others. Therefore, persistence for your cause should not be gained at the expense of others. Another bit of leadership wisdom!

2. Listen and understand the issue, then lead.

Time and time again we have all been told, "God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason"... or as Stephen Covey said, "Seek to understand, rather than be understood." As a leader, listening first to the issue, then trying to coach, has been the most valuable advice that Cordia Harrington, President and CEO of Tennessee Bun Company has been given.

3. Answer the three questions everyone within your organization wants answers to.

What the people of an organization want from their leader are answers to the following: Where are we going? How are we going to get there? What is my role? Kevin Nolan, President & Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Health Systems, Inc. believes the more clarity that can be added to each of the three questions, the better the result.

4. Master the goals that will allow you to work anywhere in today’s dynamic business world.

Debbe Kennedy, President, CEO and Founder of Global Dialogue Center and Leadership Solutions Companies, and author of Action Dialogues and Breakthrough once shared this piece of advice that was instrumental in shaping her direction, future and achievements.

She was a young manager at IBM just promoted to her first staff assignment in a regional marketing office. For reasons she can’t explain, one of her colleagues named Bookie called her into his office while she was visiting his location. He then began to offer unsolicited advice, but advice that now stays fresh in her mind. He mentioned that jobs, missions, titles and organizations would come and go as business is dynamic - meaning it is always changing. He advised her not to focus your goals toward any of these, but instead learn to master the skills that will allow you to work anywhere.

He was talking about four skills:

The ability to develop an idea;

Effectively plan for its implementation;

Execute second-to-none;

Achieve superior results time after time.

With this in mind, Kennedy advises readers to seek jobs and opportunities with this in mind. Forget what others do. Work to be known for delivering excellence. It speaks for itself and it opens doors.

5. Be curious.

Curiosity is a prerequisite to continuous improvement and even excellence. The person who gave Mary Jean Thornton, Former Executive Vice President & CIO, The Travelers, this advice urged her to study people, processes, and structures. He inspired her to be intellectually curious. He often reminded Thornton that making progress, in part, was based upon thinking. She has learned to apply this notion of intellectual curiosity by thinking about her organization’s future, understanding the present, and knowing and challenging herself to creatively move the people and the organization closer to its vision.

6. Listen to both sides of the argument.

The most valuable advice Brian P. Lees, Massachusetts State Senator and Senate Minority Leader, ever received came from his mentor, United States Senator Edward W. Brooke III. He told him to listen to all different kinds of people and ideas. Listening only to those who share your background and opinions can be imprudent. It is important to respect your neighbors’ rights to their own views. Listening to and talking with a variety of people, from professors to police officers, from senior citizens to school children, is essential not only to be a good leader in business, but to also be a valuable member within your community.

7. Prepare, prepare, prepare.

If you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail. If one has truly prepared and something goes wrong the strength of the rest of what you've prepared for usually makes this something easier to handle without crisis and panic. One of the best pieces of advice Dave Hixson, Men’s Varsity Basketball Coach at Amherst College has ever received and continues to use and pass on is this anonymous quote -“Preparation is the science of winning."

Along with this are two expressions from Rick Pitino's book Success is a Choice, which speaks to preparation. Hixson asks his teams every year: "Do you deserve to win?" and "Have you done the work?" This speaks to the importance of preparation toward achieving your final goal. If you haven't done the work (the preparation) the answer to the second question is an easy "no!"

Great advice comes from many sources – parents, other relatives, consultants, bosses, co-workers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and friends. The important point to remember is to stay open, listen to everyone, but also develop your own leadership style.

Jim Rohn is another success coach that is teaching the same message of developing leadership skills for the 21^st century.  Here is an informative article that will help inspire you to develop all of your abilities.  Success is success which is success and the principles from numerous different leaders all converge into several basic points.  Enjoy the article and develop your skills!  Remember, when opportunity and preparedness meet—success must happen.  God Bless, Orrin Woodward

I find it's important to not walk into the beginning part of this 21st Century without multiple skills.

But what I also find is that if you are already in sales, network marketing or have an entrepreneurial business (or plan to in the future), you can gain the needed skills for the future while you create your income now.

Here's my short list for on the job training, so that you can learn while you earn.

1) SALES

I began my journey with sales, which of course dynamically changed my life back at age 25. The first year I multiplied my income by five. I was raised in farm country. I knew how to milk cows, but it didn't pay well. But sales altered the course of my life, learning to present a valid product in the marketplace, talk about its virtues and get somebody to say "yes." And then give them good service.

2) RECRUITING

Then came recruiting, how to expand my business, build an organization. We have all heard the question, is it better to have one person selling a $1000 or have 100 people selling $10? If you ask me, I'll take the 100 at $10. Recruiting, the ability to multiply your efforts, once mastered, is one of life and leadership's greatest time management resources.

3) ORGANIZING

Then I learned organizing. Keeping your own schedule can be difficult at times, but now you have to balance multiple tasks and people to get maximum results. But you will find that the payoff is massive once you have tapped into the synergy and momentum of group dynamics and teamwork.

4) PROMOTION

Next is promotion. First it's the spring campaign and then the fall campaign, and then it's this month's objective's campaign. You never know when it's going to click for someone to want or need to buy from you or be a part of what you are doing, so having the offer or the special or the contest going when they're ready can make all the difference.

5) RECOGNITION

Then it's the recognition. Some people work harder for recognition than they do for money. It's the chance to belong. Getting people to do something that ordinarily on their own, they wouldn't think of doing. They could, but they don't think of it. You come along with a little promotion for this month or this quarter and everything changes for them, and I found that paid big money.

6) COMMUNICATION

Then I learned communication. How to do the training, how to do the teaching, and probably the greatest gift of all is learning how to inspire with words. Inspire people to see themselves better than they are; all of those gifts, all of those skills. Being the voice that tells them they have made a wise decision and here's why.

Now, I believe that as you walk into this century with just that little short list I've given you, you'll be equipped. We've all watched what has happened the last 15 years. The guy had one skill - the company downsizes. His division is eliminated and since he only had one skill, now he is vulnerable. He's wandering around saying, "Oh my, the last few years I should have taken some classes that would have taught me a couple of more things and I wouldn't be here in this vulnerable position."

So my admonition -- learn some multiple skills, or should we say, back-up skills for the 21st Century and no better place to learn them than in what you’re already doing now.

To Your Success,

Jim Rohn

I watched an interesting video on the way new ideas meet resistance and overcome them.  Achieving anything of lasting value means you will go against the grain and think outside the existing patterns.  Your ideas will go through four phases if you persist.  First, they will be ignored - second, they will be laughed at - third, they will be fought - fourth, they will win.  This is why it takes courage and backbone to do anything new.  Here is a video from Linux that explains the process of new ideas. God Bless, Orrin Woodward 

Here are my favorite quotes on overcoming criticism.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” - Anonymous 

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. - Benjamin Franklin

He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help. - Abraham Lincoln     

If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it - Anonymous

One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself - Mark Twain quotes

Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking everything praiseworthy in human life. - Joseph Addison    

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. - Brendan Francis Behan    

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown    

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill    

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. – David Brinkley

The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. This is part of the penalty for greatness, and every man understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness. – Elbert Hubbard

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

Criticism is prejudice made plausible. H. L. Mencken

We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves. – Henri Frederic Amiel

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. – John Wooden