MENTORS
To truly start to grow and change, it is important to find someone who will hold you accountable to your goals and dreams. It is much easier to let yourself down than it is to let your mentor/hero down. A mentor will not let you off the hook to settle for mediocrity if that is not what you really want. The ability of a man or woman to rationalize why they are not growing and changing knows no limits, but a mentor can identify the deception and confront the potential hero with the truth in love. Let me give you an example from the 1940’s book The Rediscovery of Man:
“Let us assume that your analysis of the causes of your failure is substantially correct, and that you have been the victim of these outside forces in your environment. The one important question now is: What are you going to do about it? The only person in the world who can solve this problem is you. We may help you to map out a plan of action, but only you can carry this plan into effect. Only you can assume the responsibility for its success. The more time we spend analyzing the causes, which are in the past, the less time and power you will have to practice the new habits and skills which you need to take you out of this situation. The time for talk has ended. From now on the emphasis must be on action, struggle, painful practice, embarrassing moments, self-sacrifice, discipline, patient and persistent effort.”
Has anyone talked to you like that before? A mentor values your dreams and ultimate success more than he values you liking him or her at every point in time. I enjoy the friendship with the Team leaders, but if I had to choose between friendship and respect, I would much rather have the respect of the leaders than their friendship void of respect. My number one responsibility as a mentor is to help future leaders break down the mental barriers that are holding them back from their goals. You do not have the right to mentor people until they know how much you love them. One of the greatest joys in my life is to see leaders have their breakthroughs and move on to the next level.
Mr. Link wrote, “It is remarkable how this challenge to the individual’s powers of self-determination and capacity for effort stimulates many to a new attack on life. The tragedy is that for so many years our civilization and its educational forces have permitted them to believe in their own helplessness. Worse still, it has supplied them with a collection of intellectual tools by which to build a tower of logic in defense of their failures.”
The Bible says, “The truth will set you free.” In everything you hear and read, ask yourself, “Is this creating confidence or taking it away?” The heroic doctrine creates confidence and can only be transferred by a hero to a potential hero. The anti-heroic doctrine is designed to take away confidence, absolve you from guilt, and can only be transferred by an anti-hero to a potential anti-hero. The choice is yours just as I had a choice ten years ago when I began to choose my mentors. The majority of my would-be mentor candidates believed more anti-heroic doctrine than heroic doctrine. The path of least resistance would have been to listen to the anti-heroes, but I knew in my heart of hearts that this “no fault” life was wrong. As author Scott M. Peck, paraphrasing Robert Frost said, “I chose the road less traveled and it has made all the difference to me.”
