Orrin, What a great article! I can't tell you throughout the course of my life, I missed the very best in my relationships had for me because I didn't understand this principle. Too many times when someone didn't see a vision I was casting or someone didn't do something they were suppose to do, I would get down right frustrated. Sometimes I used wrongfully say things in my mind like "man this person is just dense, or that person just doesn't get it." And then one day it hit me: the problem wasn't with them, the problem was with me. I thought "jeeze Matt if you have a problem with people consistently, YOU must be the problem." That was exactly my problem! There is a saying that states "If the only tool you have is a hammer, then you see every problem as a nail." The art of understanding people is a skill that must be developed before any of us can ever add value to other people. A leadership "blind spot" that I had to begin learning to overcome was the fact that getting through to others has everything to do with how you understand them. For about the past 3 years I have made it almost a specific intent to find out about someone else before I communicate. Knowing someone's story can help you craft your message in such a way that it gets through to the other person. Let me explain: In John Maxwell's book Winning with People he explains his Exchange Principle. The Exchange Principle says "instead of putting others in their place, you need to put yourself in their place." That principle has been huge in my life. I have really tried to learn to see things from someone else's perspective. As human beings we tend to see things not as they are, we tend to see things as we are. That said, many times my perspective gets jaded, but if I can see things from "their side" of the table it really helps me gain influence with someone else. Why? People always buy into the leader before they will ever buy into the vision. Another practice that I have really had to learn was to give others the benefit of the doubt. There have been many times in my life where I have been very misunderstood by others. Not in a weird way, but I couldn't always communicate what I was feeling and as a result I used to become very frustrated. I have had "Difference Maker" people in my life that gave me the benefit of the doubt. Think about it for a minute. Don't you wish sometimes that people would give you the benefit of the doubt? That principle works 10 fold when you are trying to understand people. When you are having a bad day the only person that can help you is someone that gives you the benefit of the doubt. In other words you need to "mine the gold of good intentions" in other people. I learned that principle as well out of John Maxwell's 25 Ways to Win With People. He teaches that in order to mine the gold of good intentions you have to go beneith the surface of what is said or done. Too many times prior to me starting my leadership journey, I used to judge myself by my intentions while I use to judge others by their actions. That was so wrong of me to do, especially if you are asked to mentor someone! It is wrong because you are not dealing with reality. Some of the best influencing comes from mining the gold of good intentions. I want to be careful however and say that good intentions are not a substitute for action. Someone can have the best intentions of doing something great with their life, but if all they have is intentions and no action it really doesn't mean much. Thanks for the great article Orrin! I can't wait until St. Louis! It will be such a great event! Best, Matt