Orrin, I appreciate your post here. Just a thought - a "Christian Soldier" is an oxymoron. The basis of true Christianity is as a pacifist. That is why Christ allowed himself to die on the cross, understanding that love from the Creator transcended any and all of the fear in this world. Remember - the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. There have been many well intended people at war through the ages - and it continues today.

Christ “allowed” Himself to die on the cross because He was perfectly obedient to the Father. He knew that His death and Resurrection were the price to be paid for the reconciliation of God to mankind...NOT because He was a pacifist.

There is none of our impulses that [God’s] Moral Law may not sometimes tell us to suppress, and none that it may not tell us sometimes to encourage. It is a mistake to think that some of our impulses – say mother love or patriotism – and others, like sex or the fighting instinct, are bad. All we mean is that the occasions on which the fighting instinct or the sexual desire need to be restrained are rather more frequent than those for restraining mother love or patriotism, But there are situations in which it is the duty of the married man to encourage his sexual impulse and of the soldier to encourage the fighting instinct. There are also occasions on which a mother’s love for her own children or a man’s love for his own country have to be suppressed or they will lead to unfairness towards other people’s children or countries. Strictly speaking, there are no such things as good or bad impulses. Think of a piano. It has not got two kinds of notes on it, the “right” notes and the “wrong” ones. Every single note is right at one time and wrong at another. The Moral Law is not any one instinct or any set of instincts: it is something which makes a kind of tune (the tune we call “goodness” or “right conduct”) by directing the instincts. C.S. Lewis – from ”Mere Christianity”

Thus "Christian Soldier" is no oxymoron, for there is much we fight against: some of it on a physical plain...and some on the spiritual one. Pray for the wisdom to be able to properly discern your "right" and "wrong" responses.